i'm so feeling bad..
and i've so much to say..
but i don think i will type all out at once..
cos there will be nothing to read next time if i type it out all once.?
yeah.. hahas;D
i'm really very confuse..
i don know wad decision i should do..
and can you believe i'm typing out with my dad beside me...
he was watching soccer..
and he saw me typing ..
and he contin with his soccer..
and i'm playing ah ma de hua*hokkien..

i was really very sad..
i really wish i can move out..
and th most dote on me has gone..
and she will never return ..
i was really missing her so much..
yah.. indeed just like my own relative pass away..
she has pass away so long..
i can always rmb her date she pass away..
but when i cannot remember when my grandma pass away..
and there's big diff between they two..
one is not really dote on me
one is really dote on me..
see.. one diff..
my family has always a problem tht is ..
偏心.. or should i say almost all of them including me..
but i can really say i not so serious..
or should i say i don really have..
i always don know why ..
but i always found th answer ..
and tht is th answer..
or maybe almost all family at least have one parent is 偏心 on one kid..
or two ..worst. my family has this case..

i'm getting so tired..
i know i shouldnt like tht think ..
but i cant stop myself..
i don know how to treasure my own life..
i feel my life is totally useless..
hahas.. yeah;D
getting of seeing doctor all th way there..
eventhough sometimes is really fun with my doctor and those nurse over ther..
but i still feel there's a gap between us..
like i always feel a gap in this family..
how i wish i was always busy with something..
either schooling or working..
not at home but just sleeping..
tht would be great men~ as i don wish to stay at home..
is either father is nagging .. if not mother is angry with us..
don wanna talk to us..
i cant stand this kind of thing..
cos i always at home..
and is like always toward you..
everything you have to handle properly ..
if not you're gonna kana from it..
i always wish peace ..
when i was outside i wish to be home..
when i'm home i wish i was outside..
i'm so freaking fan..
last time i always have a pair of ears..
but now everyone is like so weird ..
you wouldnt have dare to tell him/her anything ..
cos is so scary..



and i'm freaking fucking dulan..
not really alot ppl know i have a fear of going to school..
mostly is when i change alot and i go school..
i cant stand those talks and eyes..
ya.. i know i cant control..
but wad th fuck they want to see and talk abt..
really cant stand them..

shall end here.. i so like ..
going burst my tears out lerhs..